With the many expectations we face daily, feelings of stress and anxiety are common for most people. Stress and anxiety can do severe damage to our cells and organs, causing an array of illnesses. Where does our stress come from? The stress and anxiety we experience is a result of how we interpret our daily life experiences. It is how we interpret the social and cultural expectations we have integrated, placed upon ourselves, and how successfully we think we maintain those expectations.

Scientific research continues to show us that having a positive self-concept and spiritual connection directly impacts our physical health and well-being in a positive way. Our self-concept develops through our social experiences. Let’s explore how our social experiences influence how we think and feel about ourselves and our spiritual connection. In other words, let’s explore our exterior and interior experiences.

To understand how our social relationships impact us, we begin by examining the thoughts and feelings that are a result of those relationships. If we have a positive self-concept and feel good about our social experiences and relationships, we are in alignment with our “Source”; we allow ourselves to co-create with the universe in a positive and loving way.

We are socialized at a young age as to what women are expected to think and do. The many roles we fulfill speak directly to our social experience. These roles are often minimized, undervalued and unseen, which adds to stress levels. In order to understand and appreciate the immensity of women’s role in our society let’s take a walk through the short list and allow ourselves to get a feel for all that women do.

We are the caretakers of our children, grandchildren and, increasingly, our aging parents. We are the nurses, teachers, coaches, housekeepers, cleaning crew, cooks, shoppers, designers, organizers, managers, hosts and entertainers. We nurture, guide, discipline, uplift, love and encourage. A large percentage of us work full-time jobs and come home to bear the major responsibilities of our “second shift” with our family and home responsibilities. We push the envelope to expand our opportunities, we break glass ceilings, we advocate, we speak out to enhance the experiences of women and children, we withstand the judgment of not marrying, not having children, and who we choose to love. We withstand the inequalities of working the same hours for less pay, with a greater level of inequality experienced by women of color. Many of us suffer abuse and have limited resources. We are barraged with body images that are unrealistic and make us question our worth. We withstand the lack of government representation to address our needs. Yet we persist. As we embody creation, we are the hopeful spirits that constantly look for and expect a better world. Amidst the social and institutional challenges, we are still the champions of love, empathy and compassion.

When we allow ourselves to closely examine all we do, we empower ourselves. In that process we gain clarity on what we want for ourselves, which is one of the most important things we can do to create well-being.

We have been socialized to think and behave according to the norms and values of our society. But we have the power to decide—regardless of what society dictates—what it is we want. We must love ourselves enough to take the time to understand what that is. How do we want our lives to be? How do we want our relationships to be with family, significant others and in our careers? When we uncover those answers, we empower ourselves to the possibilities and opportunities that are available to us to create what we want.

This is where the power of our mind comes into play. The “Law of Attraction” is a universal law and it is always working. It states that we have the power within us to create what we want in our lives. We tap into that power when we decide what is it we want, believe we can have it, and feel the joy and happiness that desire will bring. We then keep our thoughts and feelings in joy and happiness so we can be a match to our desire and manifest it. “The universe is always at the ready to co-create with you,” says Dr. Jean Houston, a scholar, philosopher and researcher in human capacities and one of the principal founders of the Human Potential Movement.

The overwhelming common experience we share is we don’t spend much time, if any, thinking about our own desires and needs. This is because we have successfully integrated the role of being the caretaker, always putting others before ourselves. We’ve integrated the idea that taking care of ourselves is selfish. But that idea is a false premise. Taking care of ourselves is our birthright and the best thing we can do for ourselves and others. When we take care of ourselves, we learn to love, nurture and develop who we really are. When we love ourselves, we enhance our connection to the energy of our higher self, the energy of Source. We see ourselves as Source sees us. That connection allows for unlimited love and opportunities to flow into our lives. Everyone benefits—our children, our family, friends and co-workers—as we set a healthy, loving example of how they should treat themselves as well. Be mindful, be empowered and create that positive mind, body, spirit connection!

Darlene Alvarez Maddern is a life coach, mentor, teacher and speaker. Connect at 860-488-2619, [email protected] and CreatewithYourThoughts.com. See Community Resource Guide listing, page 78.